Escape.

Updating has been hard lately. Internet has gone bonkers and I had a little emotional breakdown. I feel rather lost and empty. It's going to be hard to go through all of this and these upcoming months with all my school activities and assignments, it's going to be even harder. I mean, it is going to keep my mind off my dad but it won't for long.

He had a stroke which affected his face and I can't bear seeing him like this so I kind of refuse to go to the hospital. I know I have to go soon but for now, I just want to try to accept it and then I'll start trying to visit him at the hospital.

People say to me '' I know how you feel, I know'' . Fuck no, you don't fucking understand how it's like to go through this unless you're about to loose your father like I am. It hurts so much to know that there's so little time left to spend with him. I'm scared to loose him . He won't be able to walk me down the isle or even see me graduate high school in a few months. Every time I think of him , I have to try to hold in my tears and think about something else.

Can someone show me a way out of this nightmare? I think not.