Beauty.

For all the beautiful souls that think their ugly, fat, not thin enough, too much scars, fat thighs, have no boobs. I just would like to tell you tonight that you're beautiful just the way you are. Nothing and no one can change you except for you. People always seem to find flaws easily. Don't ever listen to the negative comments. Don't let it get to you because thats what they want, they want it to get to you so that you can breakdown and be sad but if you remember all the positivity, you will be at peace with yourself. You are you and you are rare. xx

Signing off :*

Please tell me , does it really get better?

PLEASE. I AM JUST SO SICK OF BEING SORRY FOR THINGS THAT I DIDN'T EVEN DO.I JUST WISH IT WOULD ALL GET BETTER AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO FEEL LIKE IM WORTHLESS, IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH , NOT PRETTY ENOUGH, NOT BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH, NOT SKINNY ENOUGH.

Take control.

Hey,

I've been so so busy with my cheer group and since I'm the captain , I need to make sure everyone knows about practice and that the song mashup's are good. Also, I've been teaching my cheeries moves that a little complicated and it's making my arms and thighs so sore! If you look at me walking right now, I look like a grandma . Dannnng.

I also just need to rant a little so get ready for a little emotional post. I can't help myself, I'm just in an emotional state and I don't really know how to get out of it. I feel like I'm slowly loosing my friends and I have no idea whether I'm over thinking everything or it is happening. It's really unbelievable at how much I feel lonely. Honestly, I may sound like I'm trying to seek attention but I'm really not. I just feel like I can't talk to anyone about how I feel , how much I'm struggling to cope with my dad's death , how I'm feeling so down most of the time now and the only way I'm stopping myself  from dealing with these emotions is to just distracting myself with school work or/and cheer leading.

I really don't know how much more I can take , I'm just so afraid I'm going to relapse and I don't want that to happen because if it does happen , I don't think it would be easy to get out of it again. I just wish someone could really understand how it's like to deal with all of this. How? please, tell me how can I deal with this without having an emotional breakdown. I just hope I stop feeling all of this because I hate feeling so down and the worst part is , no one sees me slowly falling apart but I guess I'm used to it.

Moving on to the brighter side! My sport's day will be held next friday , yayerz . I probably come across as being mean to my cheeries but I just want the best for them and also maybe hope for a win this year. I'm pushing them to do the best they can and today, they memorized one part of the routine with utter excellence! I'm really really proud of them because they got it in such a short span of time.

 Also, my school is giving us very little time to practice and honestly, it's pissing me off. How do they expect us to get the routine ready when we have little time to practice? what's the sense in that? and now, we have to stay back after school and go over our routine, I don't mind at all but I just wish they timed everything correctly because this is all clashing with going over exam results. Grrr.

I know I said moving on to the brighter side but I ended getting a little angry, sorry! Emotional little wreck of a teenager here. I hope you guys have a good rest of the week ahead and remember , you're beautiful xx

Signing off :*

On the brighter side.

Hey you beautiful creatures,
I have recorded a '' 10 questions with my best friend'' video and I will put in up soon, promise. I'm just waiting on some last minute deets. c: I hope you had a good start to a new week.

A funny story, I woke up at 3 am today cause I was going to bid on a bag on eBay. When I got on eBay , the price had shot up and being me I was like '' hmm, whatever! I will bid a little higher then''. The bid was only going to end in an hour so I just lazed around the bed , 5 minutes before the bid ended , I got up and decided to bid more. To cut the story short, I didn't win and wasted my precious sleeping time :'<
I also found my Rm50 that I thought I had replaced, bought waxing strips and dinner with that money C: Gehehehe.

I also was re-elected to be Cheer Captain for my Blue Team. I was replaced for a little while because I hadn't attended school in 3 weeks and they got worried but now, I can continue with what I had planned for my ''cheeries'' . It's what I call my cheerleaders c:

Have a good week ahead and I will update you guys soon,
Signing off :*

Oath.

Yayerz, hawhawhaw.

Hey , I had a rather productive day with my friends . Woke up at 8 to go work-out with my mates but obviously being us , we ran for like 5 minutes then lazed around. Typical us. Afterward, I headed to one of my best friend's house , Sharon .

We somehow ended up having a photoshoot in her room with natural and artificial lighting which was so funny. I shall share some pictures , here you go c:

Signing off :* 

Life as it is.

Hey you beautiful creatures ,

I just wanted to update you guys on everything and I mean EVERYTHING.

I've been going through a roller coaster of emotions lately and it hasn't been a pleasant ride. I often think I'm alone in this gigantic pool of people, if you know what I mean.  I am so caught up in all these pathetic immature drama that I often forget who I really am and since I've started this blog, I'm slowly finding myself again.

In a world wind of clustered memories, I find myself stuck.Reminiscing on memories that shouldn't even be in my head but it just keeps on playing like a broken record. I don't know how to feel anymore. People seem to pity me for the loss of my dad but honestly, cut the crap. People who I stopped talking to , all of a sudden care about me and telling me that if I needed anyone , I could talk to them. Really? Are you really telling me all this bullshit right now? I'm just sick of people thinking that they somehow need to be involve in my business. I get it , you want me to know that I'm not alone but talk to you? please.

I really am so lost for words. Sometimes I feel like no matter how loud my scream is , no one will hear me. I'm drowned in all this pain and I can't seem to push it away no matter how much I try. The '' friends'' who I thought were going to be here for me , aren't. It just really blows to feel like this , at a time like this.

Moving on to brighter things, I have really been trying to record a '' 20 questions'' video but I can't seem to find the correct video editor. I am a failure at all this ICT crap and also, my DSLR isn't with me so I don't think my upcoming video will be in HD. And and and, I've somehow become an ebay addict. There's just so many gorgeous handbags and shoes on there, to die for.

I hope you guys have had a good week and if you do need someone to talk to , I'm always here.
Signing off, love you guys :*

Outfit of the evening.

I was off to a friends sweet sixteen birthday party this evening. It was a pool party but unfortunately I couldn't swim but I did dress up :) this is what I had worn. 

Chiffon sleeveless top - Forever 21

Ballet skirt - Cotton on

Cardi - Cotton on

Watch- unknown

Circular chain - Passed Down.

Shoes- Forever 21 

Duffle bag- Primark ( England )

Ring - Primark ( England )

High Maintenance Girl.

When you hear people saying that I'm high maintenance , it's true. My uncle calls me '' High Maintenance Girl'' because I love clothes and shoes that are way over priced but I get the knock offs. I'm proud to say that I get knock offs, I'm not going to pay thousands on a pair of shoes , I'll get the same pair for cheaper ;)

I was asking my mum last night to get me a pair of '' Jeffrey Campbell Spiked Lita's '' which were the replica that were selling on ebay for CHEAPSIES. I was freaking out, honestly , I've wanted those pair of shoes for like 4 - 5 months now. If you don't know what I'm talking about. Here's a picture.

And also, I've also wanted a pair of either black suede creepers or lilac suede creepers. Ohmeingott, those pair of shoes, are a MUST. From what I've heard, they are so comfy! Here's some pictures.

Lilac Suede Creepers

Black Suede Creepers.

Teehehehe ,shoes make me go woooooozy. 

Signing off, loves xo

Outfit of the night.

 Top - Cotton On

Jeans - Uniqlo

Off to prayers :*

Mr. Handsome.

My dad , sister and I . Pictures were from the start of this year when we had Sinhalese New Year. I really am missing my dad.

Pulling through.

I'm back.

Been a hard few days. My dad just passed on and I'm just trying to cope with everything and stay strong. I have to keep my mind off this with just blogging and listening to Skrillex.
I just don't know how people go through this especially at this age. I feel like shutting down and going away on a holiday but I can't always run away from reality, especially at a time like this.

Anyways, I hope all of you are doing good. I'll be doing an OOTD soon but not for these next few days cause I'll be busy with the memorial and prayers. I hope you guys are fine with that. I think I'll be doing some shopping soon as well so I'll try to do a haul on it.

Signing off , Love you guys :*

a little sunshine.

Escape.

Updating has been hard lately. Internet has gone bonkers and I had a little emotional breakdown. I feel rather lost and empty. It's going to be hard to go through all of this and these upcoming months with all my school activities and assignments, it's going to be even harder. I mean, it is going to keep my mind off my dad but it won't for long.

He had a stroke which affected his face and I can't bear seeing him like this so I kind of refuse to go to the hospital. I know I have to go soon but for now, I just want to try to accept it and then I'll start trying to visit him at the hospital.

People say to me '' I know how you feel, I know'' . Fuck no, you don't fucking understand how it's like to go through this unless you're about to loose your father like I am. It hurts so much to know that there's so little time left to spend with him. I'm scared to loose him . He won't be able to walk me down the isle or even see me graduate high school in a few months. Every time I think of him , I have to try to hold in my tears and think about something else.

Can someone show me a way out of this nightmare? I think not.

Low immune system.

Midnight rush to the hospital last night. Burned up with fever and couldn't stop coughing. One thing about me, I hate hospitals. I despise the building that people attend to, to heal , to die or to get life threatening news. Especially now since my father is in hospital getting treated for his lungs,kidneys, heart and liver. He is in such a bad condition and I can't visit him cause I'm also ill.

How does life get any better from this?

Honesty.

I've been brought up by my loving mother and was always around my siblings a lot. I never imagined my childhood to be greater. When I turned 10, I lived in hell for 5 years. Not going into details but it was really hard to get by. I turned to self harming as a source to express my pain. I had to deal with this monster almost everyday of my life and I had no one to turn to.

I felt alone and so shunned away from the world, I just wanted to escape everything. I became someone who would hide all her feelings and rarely cry. I felt lost. After that rough 5 years, justice was served. I finally felt safe again and felt like I could conquer the world . I started coming out of this empty shell and blooming into a person I never thought I could be.

You see, people judge everything and everyone. Pupils at my school judged me just because I was outspoken and always making jokes but it was always because I needed to get my mind of this monster. They judge me even without knowing my story nor my life. Every time I was left alone, images would appear in my head and I would get anxiety attacks and the only was I got through it was to self harm. They judge me even without knowing my story nor my life.


I've gone through so much and I'm only 16. Sometimes I ask myself, why , why does this have to happen to me? Well, what happened, brought me to where I am today. Fashion is my escape from everything and I couldn't have gone through the tough times without my family and amazing support of my friends.

Now, you , please don't ever think that you are not good enough or you aren't beautiful. You are more than that, you are amazing and someone out there loves you. When times get tough, don't turn to the blade, ever. Talk to your friends or a family member or even me.

Sorry for ranting, it's late and I'm emotional. Tchuss xx

Simplicity at it's best.

A little sneaky look at what I wore today. :)

Cardi - Cotton On 

Ballet skirt- Cotton On

Cropped white top - Forever 21

Shoes- Pay less.

Inspirations.

I don't have many fashion inspirations, I just like what some people wear? heh. I knows thats not really helpful but here are some artists/singers I look up to when it comes to fashion.

• Rita Ora.
• Lana Del Ray.
• Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen.
• Jane Birkin.

I am a tumblr freak so I dont know the girl's names who dress the way I do that are on tumblr. I guess I've always gone with what I like and what my body feels comfortable in. I used to be so insecure when it came to wear short sleeved/sleeveless shirts because I have scars on my left forearm but I got over it eventually by starting to accept it. 

Keep in mind that, your body is a temple and treat it with respect and also with love.

Tchuss :*

Couture or Simple ?

I am very indecisive when it comes to dressing up and mix&matching my clothes. The thing is I always have to plan my outfits the night before or even 2 nights before my actual outing. It doesnt bother me when what I actually wanted to wear, doesn't really work on me.

What I have learnt about dressing up is that , You NEED to be confident in what you wear. Let your doubts fly away and be you. Nothing really seems to please anyone these days, so you might as well just please yourself. YOU wear the outfit and NEVER let the outfit wear you.

My blog isn't about clothing yourself in fancy schmency clothes neither is it about buying clothes that are WAY over priced. This is about wearing clothes that you like and adding a little RAWR in there. This is about my own fashion runway life, but more like fashion mix up life. The way I dress is who I am and you dont HAVE to like it.

Well then, welcome aboard mateys. You are about to experience a little fashion life with me , Kelsey. :) Tchuss :)